The Rich Tapestry of Life

Welcome to my page of random mutterings.

Those of you who know me will see a calm veneer. You will also know that I'm easily annoyed. I think it's healthy.

I allow myself to be annoyed most of the time. It doesn't take much. People who use the letter 'H' twice in 'Southampton', txt spk, Tom Jones, and suchlike annoy me in equal measure.

Here you will find tidbits that annoy me, amuse me, and enlighten me, and I shall share them with you, to annoy, amuse, and enlighten you.

Friday 31 December 2010

Odd-bod Volvo Driving Comb-over Chap. Murderer?

So, what do we think, pop pickers?

I'm all for stringing the fucker up.

Oh, but hang on a moment - he's not actually had a trial yet, has he?

Obviously, Sky News in combination with other bog-roll worthy newspapers don't think our judicial system is capable of dealing with this chap fairly and have done us all a favour by negating the need for a trial at all, and presumed him guilty.

I have to say that it's disgusting.

He looks like a weirdo with his comb-over and odd dress sense, but neither of those things make him a murderer. And just because he's been arrested doesn't mean he'll be charged.

So let's all settle down a bit, eh?

As you can see from my caption, the fact that he drives a Volvo worries me almost as much as the epic hairdo.  Come to that, if we're looking to hang people for crimes against our perception of what's normal, Ken Dodd and Janet Street-Porter would have been dead years ago.

Still, time will tell if he's been a naughty boy and murdered poor Jo Yeates. In the meantime, Kay Burley can bugger off on the horse she rode in on.

We'd all do well to remember the horrendous Rachel Nickell case and how Colin Stagg's life was ruined by an over-zealous Metropolitan Police and a media baying for the blood of an innocent man.  Turns out that professional headcase Robert Napper was responsible for Rachel's murder and a string of rapes and indecent assaults over a period of many years. 

If it turns out that Chris Jefferies is responsible for the murder of Jo Yeates  he deserves whatever
comes his way.  Until then, he deserves to be afforded the same rights that the rest of us are entitled to.

Tuesday 21 December 2010

Vince Cable, Head Mongtard.

This here is self-important twat Vince Cable.  He has declared war on the Murdoch Empire. He also has nuclear weapons.  He will shortly be invaded by the United States after he ejected Hans Blix of the IAEA and his team of weapons inspectors.  Mr. Blix has confirmed that Cable does have a stockpile of enriched uranium tucked up his arsehole, and has the capacity to strike deep at the heart of absolutely fuck all without even so much as a 45 minute warning. 

Get a grip, Vince. If you left the government, I very much doubt that anyone would even notice. Or care, come to that. 

Tuesday 14 December 2010

For Clarity...

My Twitter profile describes me like this:

Rotund Tenor in the South Oxhey Choir. Spurs fan. Globetrotter. Miserable bastard. Oracle. Adonis. Opinionated twat. Conservative. Lover of Jelly Tots.

The clue's in the title, friends.  If you don't like it, do one. 

Political Correctness, Racism, and Stupid Wheelchairbound Students.

If you've been paying any attention to FaceBook or Twitter today, you'll notice that I'm very fucking annoyed. It would appear that certain sandal-wearing bearded fuckwits have an issue with the things I say. Or at least, someone had an issue with something I said today:


'At the quack's for my physiotherapy appointment. I feel like a bloody foreigner. Polaks and people of the Asian persuasion everywhere...'

One of my Twitter followers decided to call me a disgrace for having said this on my timeline, and then went on to tell all his friends about what a racist I am.

This is racist? Er, enlighten me? It's racist to point out that I was in a minority of one among approximately 15 people? That's racist? Do me a fucking favour and grow up.

It was, and remains, a fact. The Pope is Catholic. That, too, is a fact.  Nelson Mandela is, in fact, a black gentleman. Need I fucking go on?

RACIST! 

How easy is it to throw that remark around? It's laughable in the extreme to suggest that I am racist. It would be fairer to say that I'm not bothered who I offend.  All that this person has shown is that they understand nothing about the term 'racist' or 'racism'.  Anyone who knows me will tell you that my disdain for mankind in general is anything but discriminatory. This is because we're all capable of stupidity in equal measure.  To suggest that I am racist because I point out that I'm surrounded my Asians or Polaks is pathetic.  Ask the good folk of Luton if they're surrounded by Asians and call them racist when they tell you that they are, you fucking idiots.

rac·ism


–noun
 
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
 
So, come on all you do gooders and knowers of the English language.  Come on.  Roll up and tell me what part of my Twitter entry is racist. Tell me what part is intolerant. Tell me where I have demonstrated the belief that I am somehow better than someone else because of my race. You won't. Because you fucking can't. Because I aired a FEELING, not a fucking racial or political view. Those of you who are offended by it are POLITICISING it. You're all sandal wearing sycophants to political correctness, and people like you are responsible for a lot of what is wrong in the world at the moment. Go out and buy a razor.  And, no, I don't care that I've just made what could be considered a sweeping generalisation because I truly am THAT fucked off with it. 
 
Since we're on the subject, and because I'm annoyed, I'll tell you precisely where I stand on the subject of Polaks, folk of the Asian persuasion, and others who treat this country like some sort of soft touch.  This also goes for those who can't seem to get off their fat arses and into work, regardless of whether they're Asian, Polak, Balkan, Albanian, Slovakian, Black, White, Green, Yellow, or Blue with Pink FUCKING SPOTS. (Apologies to any nationality or race that I haven't mentioned, because I'm sure that for some goody-goody I've been racist for having left you fuckers out)

I have no gripe, NONE WHATSOEVER, with anyone coming to this country who wants to contribute to what makes it GREAT. However, I do take issue with those who are here that haven't or don't put in.  Why should the likes of you and I pay for these people to take advantage of the NHS and other local services when they've put nothing towards it.  What you who throw this racism card about don't understand is that the vast MAJORITY of people will agree with me, but are frightened of offending the likes of you by AIRING IT.  

Has anyone seen the footage of the woman in The Sudan being publicly beaten for wearing trousers today? Would it be racist of me to say that I believe the Sudanese regime to be backward, medieval, and unnecessary? Would it be racist of me to say that the soldiers filming this poor woman are total and utter bastards for laughing while it took place?  Is it so wrong, and am I so far wide of the mark when I say that the people of some African, Middle and Far Eastern countries are patently incapable of having any good nature toward their fellow human beings? Would it be racist of me to state that I don't want people like that living among my friends and family, or using my local services? 

We live in what is called a democracy.  It allows me the freedom to say things that people may find offensive.  Democracy doesn't entitle you to an apology if you're one of those offended.  I have to say that preventing people like Pastor Terry Jones and Dutch politician Geert Wilders from entering this country offends ME. Not because I agree with the things they say, but because I defend to the death their right to say it. My argument is that sometimes we're too tolerant of the religious views of some minorities, and this is something totally different to racism. It's just easier for you to call me racist because it means you don't have to have a difficult discussion. 


Anyway, moving on.

Now, as for this disabled student twat being dragged out of his wheelchair. (Sorry, have I used the wrong term there? Is disabled still acceptable, or what?) If you are going to misbehave and cause all manner of trouble for the police, you deserve all you get.  The fact that you happen to be in a wheelchair and may have a mild affliction does not automatically entitle you to behave like a total fuckwit. Nor does it mean that you are above the law. We've all seen the footage of the Plod begging you and your brother to calm down before you got tipped out of your happy-wagon, remember?  You were behaving like an arse.  And if you were behaving like an arse in a pub or on the street towards me, I'd have tipped you out of your fucking wheelchair too.  Because let's face it, you're less dangerous out of it, aren't you.  This matter is at the very core of the equal rights you demand.

I admit, the way in which the above is presented is not politically correct. Either way it gets the job done and puts the point across without fannying around or putting ribbons and bows on it. 

I am permanently pessimistic about humanity. Days like today serve only to compound my pessimism. Before you start using words like 'racist' and saying that I'm a 'disgrace', have a look at yourself. Who do you offend with your over-intellectual views? Who you do you exclude by trying to be the fountain of all moral fortitude? 
Only 1 of 410 people took issue with my remark. Enough said. 
 
Which one of us is more offensive?




Wednesday 8 December 2010

It's Winter. Fucking Deal With It.

This last weekend, I visited the lovely cities of Ieper in Belgium, and Lille in France. This is an annual trip where I take my dear mum and auntie along with me, enabling them each to purchase 6 months' worth of booze and whatever other old shite they can find.

I was rather worried about having to drive to Folkestone for the Euro Tunnel shuttle to Calais and beyond, but putting my concerns aside, I diligently drove around the M25 and then the M20. Yes, it was a bit hairy on the black ice and whatnot, but we made it all the same.

Upon reaching the Calais it became apparent that our lovely French cousins had seen a bit of snow, too. Well, a lot of snow, actually. I also noticed that their roads appeared to be clear despite the snow and the sub-zero temperatures. I was absolutely fucking astounded. For Christ knows how long now, we've had various meteorologists telling us that it's going to be 'very cold' and that we're going to have 'snow'.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is it not fucking winter? Just what excuse can we have in this country for allowing a bit of snow to bring the entire country to a fucking standstill? I had to laugh at Herts Highways Twitter feed which stated that: 'Gritters on standby, road temperatures below zero, snow expected later, but we don't think it will settle'. WHAT IF IT DOES SETTLE?! What that feed should have read was 'Gritters on standby, we don't think. Ever.'.

We're all aware that the cost to the economy when the country is 'snowed in' under a few centimetres of snow is massive, so why the fuck don't they grit the bloody roads JUST IN FUCKING CASE? Surely they'd be better off having too much salt and grit rather than not enough? All this bollocks about how severe weather 'can't be predicted' and is 'unusual' just doesn't fly any more.  These twats are full of pathetic excuses.

On Saturday, I drove from Ieper to Lille, not a massively long journey, about a 45 minute drive.  It BUCKETED down with the white stuff. All the way. Chaos? No. Road closures? No. People sitting in cars on the hard shoulder? No. So what's the bloody difference? Everything! 

So the country becomes a bloody disaster zone because we are buried under a few centimetres of snow.  Jesus, ring the Pope. Call in the Army!

It's WINTER. Fucking deal with it!